I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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