Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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