just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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