That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
