went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I had to cum in my sink.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
