If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
