What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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