So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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