I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
