your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
