I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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