There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
