Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
