just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
