I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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