Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
