please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
