Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
