So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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