Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
