So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
