Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
