I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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