Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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