Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
