You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
