OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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