he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
