the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you would pick up someone in the library
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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