She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
