Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
