just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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