Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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