omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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