I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
