In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
