i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
