i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
