i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
