i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
