Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Randomize
