The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
