I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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