I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
