That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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