how can u be prego again
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Randomize
