Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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