All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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