but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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