Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
