How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
